Monday, April 14, 2008

Mommy mistakes

I have a confession to make- I blew it today as a mother… and it was ugly. I am not proud. I think it was the blue toothpaste running down the bathroom cabinet that finally did me in. No, maybe it was the dirty socks stuffed under the mattress in the boys room… or perhaps it was the spoiled lunch box smell coming from the back seat of my car. No, I take that back- it was definitely the booger someone wiped on the wall next to the toilet. Maybe it was a combination of it all, but I lost it. Veins sticking out, bad mommy look on my face, raised voice- ugly.
And I wish I could say I realized it right away, but I didn’t. It took the 4 big kids leaving for school and the 3 little kids with their eyes glued to Little Einsteins that I finally had the time to take a deep breath and calm myself down. Then I had to get right with God.

“When you realize your guilt… you shall confess the sin that you have committed. Leviticus 5:5

All too soon, these seven kids will be gone, and along with them- the blue toothpaste, dirty socks, lunchboxes and heck, even the booger. All too soon, the days will pass away- and my life will end. When I look back will I treasure the memories or will I be faced with the reality that I let the little things, the things that really don’t matter steal life from me? Each day we live is a gift from God- each moment precious. I’m still not convinced that whoever invented the blue toothpaste was the most brilliant person around- but I know my kids are. Who else could take a dab of toothpaste, mix it with water, regurgitate it and make it cover an entire bathroom sink? Clever. Very clever.

“Teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart. “Psalm 90:12

Lord, help me to see each day, each moment, as a gift from you. Help me to be an example to my children of your love. Help me to forgive, to teach, to be thankful in every moment I am given with them. Recharge my strength when I feel weak, renew my spirit when I am overwhelmed. Fill me with your holy spirit so that I may respond to others with a kind work, a gentle touch and a sincere smile. Lord, let them see you through me.

5 comments:

brandyleewindham08 said...

Amy, we it comes down to it..(We ALL have these days:
Most of the time I don't realize I am Talking in the supersonic high scary mommy voice until My kids are in bed looking so sweet & I have been in bed for awhile,
then I have to ask Him for forgivness and ask Him to help me have more compassion for kids with selective hearing.

You are normal and we all love you.

kim p said...

AMEN! THIS IS MY PRAYER TOO!! I laugh with you, because I know the feeling all too well! Thankfully God keeps giving me perspective-adjustments and I continue to pray for HIS strength to think the truth and then to act on the truth. What invaluable lessons God wants to teach us as mothers! : )

Sara said...

oh, we are soooo there with you...reminds us we are not perfect, right? I know there are plenty of times when I wouldn't get nominated "mom of the year", but you have to look at the big picture and how much you give to your children and how much you really love them! Sometimes in those ugly moments, it is a look back on what is really important AND a wake up call to others for a helping hand!

The Engelhardt 4 said...

Amen to this. Thank you so much for putting into words what I have been feeling lately. My scary mommy voice comes out more when I am exhausted, which I still am...can't seem to get the rest I need. You are an inspiration as a mother, and I thank you for letting me part of your life. Blessings.

Noah Bear said...

That post made me laugh because I have SO been there. Every day - no every minute - it seems. :-)

Thanks for putting it into perspective for me. Each day IS a gift.

Leslie